“The troublesome other and I”: Parallel stories of separated parents in prolonged conflicts

Abstract

This qualitative study aims to explore how noncohabiting parenting couples in prolonged conflict construct the other parent and themselves. Ten parents from five parent couples were interviewed. A dyadic analytical design was used, where parent's stories of conflict were analyzed in parallel with their co-parent. Drawing on positioning theory, self-identity as parents emerged as implicit counter positions in storylines, which construct the co-parent as “the troublesome other.” Two typologies of conflicted storylines were prominent in the findings: storylines of violations of trust, positioning the co-parents in relation to traumatic events in the past and, storylines of who is bad, positioning the co-parent as either a disloyal co-parent or a dysfunctional parent. The findings indicate that prolonged conflicts made it impossible to find available positions for cooperation. We argue that family therapists should aid each household toward promoting child and family resilience rather than continued efforts to solve chronic conflicts.